Why do most Men fail in Love and how to change that?

Yes, not everyone’s successful in Love. 

Not every time you get, what and who you wish for. There are majority of men who are struggling to get a girl they’re chasing for a long time now. 

And if you’re one of them, then you’ve landed on the right page. 

You are going to get the perfect solution to it but before that do you know where and what exactly the problem is? We always want to just get the solution to every problem. We never try to get to the root of the problem.  

So today first we’ll go to the root of it and you’ll get all your answers there only. 

The question is Why? 

Let’s go there straightforward. 

To answer your Why, there’s a term called LIAR which is in you leading you to all your failures in love. 

Yes, LIAR! 

LIAR as in your Limiting beliefs, the Idealism and your Approach Reluctance 

Yes, your limiting beliefs about your looks, your financial status, and about all your abilities. Your idealism is idealizing women, love, and all those beliefs about society and the world. And your Approach Reluctance due to all your insecurities and approach anxiety and fears leads to that LIAR inside you which is actually the root problem that you need to tackle.  

Let’s dig in a little deeper to know more about it. 

#Limiting Beliefs: It simply means your beliefs that are stopping you to approach that lady. Your insecurities, your I-can’t-do-this attitude. 

The belief that beautiful women only get attracted to rich and handsome men. The beliefs that let you and your self-confidence down and the beliefs that don’t let you accept your insecurities. 

These all beliefs limit you and the idea that you’re fully capable of that woman which eventually leads you to failure in love. 

These beliefs limit you in such a way that although you might see a beautiful woman with an averagelooking person with average financial status still it won’t be enough for you to believe in yourself. 

These beliefs are poured into you by your people and society. These limiting beliefs are formed due to the social conditioning which you were in. 

From your childhood, you might be told something superstitious that became your reality. Like if you won’t be rich, you won’t be able to find love. 

Well, your subconscious read that and printed it in your mind which is now attacking you. 

So, it’s time that you start realizing that these beliefs were just made up things by your elderly just to make you do something. And now since you’re mature, you have to start overcoming these beliefs that are limiting you. 

You have to definitely focus on yourself to make yourself better but you also need to dump the idea that if you don’t do this you won’t be able to achieve that considering that both these things are not even nearly related to each other. 

So start noting down all your limiting beliefs and start working on them and stop fooling yourself by saying all that society and other people teach you. 

#Idealism: You ever of heard when you ask someone about what according to them is true love and they start fascinating on all those things which are too impractical to witness. 

Like True love is where you find that one person who will never upset you and who will be there with you always and forever. Once you fall in love the sun will smile at you all day and pink butterflies will shoot out of bushes and when you will die, you will die in each other’s arms. 

Well, this is Idealism. A Realist would never answer like that.  

Just like this, the majority of men idealize about women too, that one perfect woman, and end up with no one. 

They don’t understand that the world where they are living is real and idealizing all that and thinking that it’ll come true will always end up letting them down only. 

You have to get over this idealization if you also think something like which is practically not possible and maybe inspired by films.  

That doesn’t mean that you can’t have expectations or opinions about your future love or your love life. You can definitely have. Even everyone has it. But they should be realistic and not like fairytales which ain’t gonna come true. 

Idealism always leaves us shattered. Even if you get a girlfriend, you will never be able to find all those things or can’t witness the things which define true love to you which will eventually end up your relationship with her leaving you all alone and with a question that why do you always fail in love? 

Yeah, that will be the doing of your wish of finding that ideal love of your life which you see, is impractical. 

Now, you may ask how you can overcome this idealism. Well, for starters first stop picturing the qualities and all that perfection in your head of your partner. 

Start accepting the fact that everyone has some of the other flaws and no one’s perfect, not even you. 

Every woman has their insecurities and fears too. You have to accept that when you come into a relationship with any woman.  

You need to stop overestimating the person and need to stay away from people who do that for you. Like Far Away! 

And once you’ll start thinking realistically, you will also find yourself worthy enough of any woman because you will know that no one’s perfect. 

#Approach Reluctance: Have you ever felt anxious while approaching a woman and canceled the plan to approach her at the last moment? That is approach reluctance. 

When your subconscious fears and your anxiety stop you to approach any beautiful women that you eagerly want to is approach reluctance which is another factor that leads you to failure in love. 

This is too harsh as it never lets you lead your love or to get a girlfriend. 

Let’s see what are these subconscious fears and approach anxiety exactly is. 

Subconscious fears are basically are all the scenarios that you make up in your mind when you think to approach a woman. 

For example, thinking that approaching a complete stranger can never work out for you. Or what if she rejects you, or what if she gets offended and starts to abuse you or in the worstcase scenario, may hit you. 

These and many like these are the fears that your subconscious generates for you because you let it to and hence you never even try to approach her resulting again in failure. 

Just like this, is the approach anxiety that is faced by majority of men. It’s the anxiety that you get just before you go to approach any woman. 

The signs of this are sweating, pulse down, increased heart rate, excessive breathing, the loss of words, mumbling, fidgeting, etc. 

This is all normal but for some people, it isn’t which makes them step back as they lose all their confidence when approach anxiety hits them. 

Approach reluctance is experienced by almost every man and even woman especially when they try to approach anyone for the first time. It gets sorted once you get the idea and a little practice to talk to women and strangers. 

But if it’s been a long time since you’re facing this and are unable to get yourself out of it then maybe you can do these things. 

Firstly, you need to stop those self-doubts that you always have when you go to approach any woman. Doubts like, what if she already has a boyfriend, what if this and what if that. All those subconscious fears, you need to avoid that. You can’t come to the conclusion without even starting the process. 

You need to practice approaching strangers, both men, and women. Start approaching them and you will get great help to overcome this fear of approaching any woman. 

You should also start expanding your circle of friends. Start meeting new people, who know you get your girl through that only.  

The lesser the people you will be around, the more anxiety you will have to face. So, expand your social circle and interact with all kinds of people. 

And one day, you’ll definitely see the change. 

If still, you find it somewhat difficult to approach any woman, just remember that she won’t eat you and Just Do It. 

While you go to her, don’t think what she will think about you, what she’ll say, who is seeing you, delete all the ifs from your mind. And just do it! 

Don’t repeat your mistakes or let your fears overpower you. Until and unless you won’t try how will you think of achieving success?  

And you won’t fail every time.  

So go and try it out! 

To Conclude 

Everyone’s got their fears and insecurities but never let these insecurities or fears overpower you or your capability to do anything. 

Believe yourself and know that you can do anything. 

Not every time you’ll achieve success but not every time you’ll fail too so you don’t have to stop trying. 

Just go and confess your feelings to her. Just Do It. 


To read more such love-related and dating-related advice, you can also check out my book Lead Your Love on Amazon