How to date an elder girl; what to keep in mind

India is a male dominant country that used to always follow the structure where the elder guy approaches the younger girl to come into a relationship with him.

Just recently, in past few years, some people started to take a step to break these narrow-minded stereotypes. And as time passed, people have started to accept the changes and to settle in them but there are still scenarios, where when it comes to date an elder girl, guys do give it a second thought saying, “oh but I’m younger than her” or “she’s older than me”, because they have always seen and brought up in such environment.

But age is just a number you see.

You can’t restrict yourself to whom you’ll be attracted to and neither do you check her age first for that matter.

And if you do so, you got to change this habit of yours since with each passing day, this society is growing and at one point in time, people of this narrow-minded perspective will not be treated in the same way.

So feel free to get attracted to an elder girl who is ready to date. And I’ll give you some really cool tips to make that work as well.

How to attract and establish a bond with her.

  • Observe and know her: When you like someone, you just don’t directly express your feelings. You observe her and get to know her keeping some distance.

You try to know who her friends are and at what places does she go to the most.

Basically stalking but not that creepy and too indulged stalking where people just get obsessed with the girl, just not that one!

  • Take a step towards friendship: Once you have observed her and collected enough details to create an impression, it’s time to introduce you.

Try to be friends with one of her friends so that you can have a mutual connection. Or if you want to subtly meet her somewhere and be friends, you can do that too but remember at that time, the things which you’ve learned about her will be of great help.

  • Start spending time with her: Now you are friends with her, so don’t waste the opportunity and try to spend some time with her, be it in person or through calls, you have to initiate.
  • Share your interests with one other: Although you might know a lot of her interests (as you already did some background research, lol), still there must be a lot to know about her and well, she doesn’t know anything about you, so make her know you. This way only, interests will be developed on both sides.
  • Be a little flirty when you think your friendship is established: When you know that you’re safe now and she likes you, you can be a little flirty at times. Compliment her, make her feel special, tell her how beautiful she is.
  • Tell her you like her: Liking is a common trait and by now she must’ve known that you like her but still mentioning is always advised and if she also likes you, she’ll say it after you. So that at least you’ll know how long you have to go more before you ask her out.


Asking her Out

  • Once you’ve confessed that you like her, try to talk more about relationships and stuff.
  • Know what she likes and looks like in a person.
  • Go for some dinner or lunch or long drive dates.
  • Don’t make her wait too much. If she’s still talking to you in the same way or showing a better interest than before, it’s time to ask her out.


What to keep in mind

  • Don’t directly mention the age factor: No to age talk. You can do that once you both are in the same phase and are feeling the same for each other. Then you can sit together and talk it out if it matters a lot to either of you.
  • Don’t talk a lot about how you dated only younger girls before: Don’t talk a lot about your exes. That’s like is advised in any relationship. Try not to bring things up which trigger the age factor.
  • Don’t treat her like she’s too old: Just because she’s some months or years older than you, doesn’t mean that you’ll talk to her in a different way or have to act differently in front of her.
  • You don’t have to change your personality for her, just be you: Acting like who you’re not just to impress her won’t be of any use. It would end up making things awkward between you two and you might offend her as well.
  • Don’t keep anything inside you, communicate: There are obviously a lot of things between you two that don’t match so there might be some things that you don’t like about her and vice versa. So make yourself that comfortable with her that you two don’t have to hide anything from each other and can communicate freely with one another.



Dating an elder girl is nowhere wrong; in fact, having a mature and grown-up girl is a really important and amazing thing that might happen to you.

She’ll understand you as no one can, you can share anything with her, and there will be rarely any serious fights between you two because she’ll know when it’s getting out of hand and how to manage it.

So, go and ask her out without any second thoughts because trust me, it’ll be worth it

And to read about more such love-related and dating-related content, you can also check out my book Lead Your Love on Amazon.