To be in a healthy relationship or to build a perfect relationship, the first and foremost thing that men need to work on is their insecurities.
When a guy struggles to find a date, more often the reason behind the same is the insecurities which he is facing. Even when you’re in a relationship and if it doesn’t work, the main reason behind it is these insecurities, which most of the time you may deny to accept.
What are these Insecurities?
Have you ever felt that this girl is out of my reach? Now ask yourself, why you thought so. It’s because you somewhere feel that there is something less about you which makes you feel that you don’t deserve her. That is your insecurity.
There must be times in your life where you may have compared yourself with other men. Why? Because of your Insecurity.
‘He is smarter than me’, ‘he is more successful than me’, ‘look at him; what a body he has got’, ‘I’ll never be able to be like him;’ ‘I’m not good enough for her’ are some of the many phrases which your insecurities make you feel and think like this way.
This only leads to failure in love. The thought of feeling low of yourself is the main reason why your dating life is not the way as you want it to be.
Even if you’re already in a relationship, things get ruined once your insecurities take control of you. When you start judging your partner, you start doubting her, you may not feel happy for her success or when you start thinking that you’re not worthy of her anymore, know that your insecurities have kicked in and you have to get rid of them before they make you compromise your relationship.
How to overcome these insecurities?
Work on your Self-Esteem – Know your worth and keep faith and confidence in yourself and your abilities.
If someone is telling you that the girl demands more and you aren’t capable of that, don’t just follow his/her words. Ask yourself whether you seriously can’t or is it difficult but possible!
You yourself have to find the answer instead of someone telling you because who knows you better than yourself, right?
Never compare yourselves to others – Every human being is unique, you have to accept that. When you’re in a stage where you think the other person is better than you then you miss out on one thing. That is, he or she is good or great in that one thing and not each and every other feature. There will always be one thing in you with which you can defeat the other person. Do you know what’s yours? Try to find out because there is your unique strength. believe me!
Talk to your partner – If you are in a relationship, sometimes, you may overthink a lot and give rise to a communication gap. This is the case that will lead you to failure in your relationship.
In each and every step you have to make sure that your doubts are cleared. Even a single doubt if you ignore can cause a discrepancy in your relationship which will result in adverse effects.
Shoo away your negative thoughts – If you’re trying to impress the girl, and before even trying if you’ll think about all the bad that can happen to you then do you think you’ll be able to achieve success. Definitely not!
Negativity is something that we can have control of. Until and unless we decide to overcome negativity, our mind won’t proceed in that direction. So make sure to be less negative and always try to find a positive alternative to every problem you can think of as a negative event.
Don’t get discouraged easily – Sometimes this may happen that you’re trying a lot but every time you find yourself failing in the process. In this case, discouragement is genuine but you can either fight it like a hero or you can choose to remain in misery like a victim.
The second option won’t lead you anywhere; there will be a permanent full stop if you choose to follow that. Instead, try to fight or say; work on yourself. Try finding the reason which is leading you towards failure. And when you’ll have your answer, your insecurity will automatically get kicked out of your system.
Don’t let your past affect your present – There are times when you may think that you’ll repeat the mistakes of your past and can never be able to be with her. Well, that is certainly the biggest mistake you must be making.
We all learn something from our mistakes, and we have to be confident as it’s always a different experience with a different person.
Stay true to her – Honesty is the core of every relationship. Whether it’s a new relationship or an old one, you have to stay true to yourself and your partner in every aspect.
Even if you don’t like anything about her or if you’re maybe struggling with any confusion or second thoughts, just tell her and find the solution to it together instead of hiding and making excuses.
Insecurities ruin everything and it always depends on us whether we’re letting them to or if we’re choosing to make an effort to make things right. For a relationship to work, you have to take care and work on few things. Nothing happens on its own.
In order to lead your love, you have to be free of these unnecessary insecurities otherwise things will just turn out to be more difficult as time will pass.
Remember we always choose things to happen because we’re always given a choice. No matter when we get the results but we always get them based on our choices and decisions. Lead your love and lead your happiness.