Are you the one who is confused to choose between your date and dreams?
Or Are you the one who also thinks that dating someone can’t let you live your dreams?
Because several men still think that to pursue their dreams, they have to let go of their girlfriend or they are not meant to date during that phase of their life.
Is it true and How to know whether a man can manage both?
To begin with, it’s not right to say that you can’t follow your passion and love or date someone simultaneously.
But if you’ll ask, is it going to be difficult?
But it’s not impossible. Never!
There are many successful people out there in each profession who have a well-settled career with a well-settled dating life or love life. So it’s not at all correct to even think that you can’t manage both.
Yes, it takes a lot of effort and you will be tested in several ways but believe me all of it is worth it when you have someone at the end of the day to talk to, to share everything with.
Now the question arises how to know whether you can manage both things or not?
To answer this, first, you need to have a clear understanding of your goal. The dream that you’re pursuing, what is it? What will it take? How you’re going to follow that? What’s the plan? What’s the route?
You shouldn’t be like it’s a vague idea but an idea. No! In that way neither you’ll be able to focus on your dream nor your relationship.
It’s really necessary to know how you’re going to chase that because keeping that in mind only we will make sure that you can manage both the things simultaneously.
Next, is who the girl that you want to date is?
Is it your crush? Or someone you’re in love with? Or there’s no one but you are planning to find someone on your way to the dreams journey?
So get that clear too. This will help you to know how much time you will have to invest in her so that you can manage both.
For example, if it’s your crush or someone you are in love with, you know who she is and how she is, what are her likes and dislikes, in what manner you should approach her.
There will be some answers that you would already know and hence you will be able to dedicate the desirable ratio of time to both the activities.
But if it’s someone whom you meet while preparing yourself for the career path, someone who is unknown to you but you’re pretty interested in getting to know her, then you will have to start right from the start.
You’ll have to make efforts to know her, what are her likes and dislikes, how much effort you’d have to make to impress her and so on, the whole process you see.
So, once you’ll figure out whom you want to date you can easily schedule yourself and can manage both.
What to keep in mind?
Now, since you know whether you’ll be able to manage your dream career and relationship simultaneously or not, there are a few points which you should keep in mind so that you do not get distracted from your goal and your relationship also remains healthy.
Find the right one. So if you want to passionately move towards your goal and be in a healthy relationship too, make sure that you find someone who understands you. Who is the right one for you!
Now, the right one doesn’t mean that she should be your ultimate partner, no. It just means, don’t try to look for a time-pass. Because it would be more productive to invest your time in your dream instead of in a girl who just wants to spare time.
Remember time is your money, so use it properly.
Qualities the right one will exhibit in your case:
- She will understand you and value your time.
- She won’t try to indulge unnecessarily.
- She will have her own goals.
- You both would have your personal space.
- You both will respect each other’s dreams.
Schedule everything. It’s important to devote your time to your dreams but if you’re in a relationship, make yourself free for her too.
So, it’s better to schedule yourself likewise. Know how she likes to manage. Try to schedule both of your time tables mutually.
Ensure that you take time for yourself, her and your dreams wisely which is productive as well.
Talk regularly. In your schedule, make proper space to talk to her every day. If you’re in a long-distance, then make sure that this talking part should not be skipped.
If it’s something urgent and you’re running out of time and can’t talk to her on that particular day or vice versa, then also call and tell. Do not text in such instances.
Now what to talk about is also an important thing to keep in mind.
Start by sharing how your day went. The important thing to take care of here is don’t make your conversation about only one topic. Discuss a mix of things, about the mix of emotions.
Sometimes, this may happen that your day didn’t go well. In that case, don’t try to spoil their mood too. Tell them what went wrong and then get over it. Don’t get stuck on the same topic and keep blabbering about the same.
Listen to her. Make sure that you’re letting her talk too without interrupting her. Listen to her also patiently and react accordingly as she tells you about something.
Don’t make her feel that you’re bored listening to her or are running out of time.
Remember conversation goes both ways, so don’t make everything about yourself. Understand her as she understands you.
Try to form some Relationship Goals. I know it sounds a little cheesy, but believe me, it’s a cool and sane step to take to.
Goals do not always mean, marriage, future plans etc. By goals here I mean, just like you have goals set for your dream, set for your relationship too. Start from the short term and if things go smooth then convert them into the long term.
Think about travelling, meet-ups, spending quality time, maybe live in together after some time.
It’s no harm to talk about these small goals and to set them with your girlfriend. It just shows your effort and interest in the relationship.
Respect her time. There might be some times when you are free but she isn’t. So do not expect that she will go according to you.
If you want her to respect your time, you have to respect hers too. Understanding is the key aspect to maintain the relationships so make sure that both of you are mature enough to understand each other.
Keep In-Person meets possible. If you both are in different cities, or at different places, try to take time and meet in person whenever you both can.
In-person meets are important. It ensures that you are serious about your relationship and are interested in the person. You both can show your care and affection for each other in those meetups and can make your relationship stronger.
Avoid Procrastination. Do not cancel plans, do not put off things, or do not procrastinate!
It’s you, who has signed up to be in a relationship while pursuing your dreams, so if you make any plans, or she makes any plans and you already said yes to it then don’t cancel them.
Last-minute cancellations are always annoying and frustrating. You never know how much effort the other person has put into that particular plan which you’re cancelling for be it any reason.
Although she will say that she understands and she will be convinced that okay you may skip it but avoid will take place in her heart which can affect your relationship later.
So if you can’t make up to the plan, say it in advance instead of cancelling at the last moment.
Remember she’s also chasing up her dreams so keep a long distance from procrastination and expect the same from her too.
Stay Serious. See, you got to be serious as far as you can for the relationship. Don’t treat it like a time-pass because you don’t have much time.
Whatever you feel, communicate. Just don’t try to waste your and her time. If at some point, things are not going as you want them to or it’s getting too hard to continue, remember you have the option to quit.
So, stay stress-free and enjoy your relationship with her.
When you’re chasing your dream and are also in a relationship, never take it as a burden because it can never be. Your relationship with the right person can act as fuel for your dreams.
If you think that relationship can distract you from your path of dreams, just answer me one thing. Are you passionate enough about your dream?
Since people who are passionate enough about a particular thing manage to do several other activities too at the same time. There’s nothing that could distract you if you’re wise enough to know how to manage.
Two is always better than one. There will be someone who will listen to you, who’ll understand you and care for you. You can share your ups and downs with her. What’s wrong with that? Just find someone like you and see how your passion will strengthen.
So, use your relationship as a weapon of strength for your dreams and no one can stop you to reach the pinnacle.
To read more about such topics on relationships, and to fast forward the process of getting a girlfriend, you can check out my book Lead Your Love on Amazon.
Till then, Good Luck and Happy Dating:)